R - Must Lady God be Married?

This was Sheri’s response to my S1 question about the worship of Asherah. 

And it has been haunting me since. 

In which ways does Lady God’s power change if She MUST be married to her male counterpart, to be Her?

I just officiated a sweet wedding this morning. 

It was a secular ceremony, however the divine was there present in me, 

in them, and in fact all around us; 

as people walked their dogs in the neighboring park,

as a falcon expanded her wings and suddenly we were under her canopy. 

She landed gracefully on a tree branch, extending generously from a young tree.

Delightful morning.  

The day before, during rehearsal we worried that the unforgiving Florida sun 

would hit our guests on their faces. But today a blanket of clouds hovered above our heads

Thick enough to offer a shadow, but thin enough to let enough sunlight through.  The perfect lighting for beautiful pictures. A miracle? A miracle.

First, the groom marched down the isle with rosey cheeks.  He is a scientist and said  he does not like to have all the attention on him.  What does it mean to him (and to her) that he must embody his love for the bride, doing something he dreads?

At last, the bride she marched down the isle alone.  No dad to give her away.  She struggled with that, but ultimately decided that since she and her had were not on speaking terms, she would not put him and her through the torture of saving face for the sake of tradition.  In which ways does breaking tradition impacts the way both the groom and the bride, their family and friends experience this event that hold so many longstanding symbols and traditions?

In reading Chapter 5 of Holy Misogyny, I realized that in officiating this sweet simple ceremony, where both partners seemingly volunteered into a culturally expected ritual, I too contribute to the erasure of women in the context of marriage. 

That the bride in a sense “became male” once again.  As it was uncontested, that in the end, the bride would surrender perhaps with relief her father’s last name, and would joyously adopt the groom’s last name.  That she is finally someone else’s and in this way she became His, back into the fold, where she always suspected she belonged.  Now they were whole, I said, but especially her.

I have always experienced Love’s  presence in most of the wedding ceremonies I officiate.  Perhaps there is beauty In the ritual.  More needs to flushed out about marriage as a social construct, and institution. But for the ritual alone there are opportunities to reimagine the initiation of marriage In ways that could impact the institution as social construct.  Perhaps, a first step is to define rituals by covenants we want to celebrate vs. those we must endure to meet others (and our own) expectations.